A number of years ago we noticed a concerning pattern in the media interviews and presentations we saw in Scotland.
People were using “Scottish English”.
They were “trying” and “doing their best”.
They were “hoping” to see positive outcomes.
All of this was undermining their position, so we decided to offer alternatives.
Any time you undermine your own position by introducing doubt.
Here’s a useful checklist:
I think
Try
Quite
Hopefully
Maybe
Sort of
Could
Relatively
Reasonably
There are hundreds.
Identifying them holds the key to building trust, instilling confidence and boosting productivity.
There are a number of theories.
Many point to Calvinism.
It swept into Scotland and removed the comfy seats from the pews
It took down the paintings on the walls and told us we’d suffer for our sins.
450 years later, even though far fewer of us attend church, we’re left with the downward pressure of not showing off:
“Don’t get stuck in the door on the way out”
“Stop blowing your own trumpet”.
Others point towards England or the USA, saying:
“We don’t want to sound like them”.
Others say it’s a humility, a respect and a modesty that endears us towards others.
I agree entirely.
The trouble comes when our cultural upbringing prevents us from convincing others of our point.
In 1985 the Norwegian shipping magnate Arne Ness Jr. married one of the most female artists in the world, Diana Ross.
At the altar he was asked:
“Will you love and honour this woman ’til death do you part?”
His answer came back:
“Well I’ll certainly try”.
He was unsure why the media reacted to the wedding by casting doubt over their future.
They later divorced.
When Andy Murray lost the 2015 Australian Open, he told the Rod Laver arena:
“Hopefully I’ll try and come back next year and do slightly better”.
What does that mean?
Lose 3 sets to 2 rather than 3-1?
Make it to the airport then turn back?
Introducing these words can have an extremely negative effect on the audience’s confidence.
He lost in the final again 12 months later, 3-0.
Imagine you’re hosting a party tonight.
Three of your friends send you texts saying the following:
“I’m hoping to come at some point tonight”
“Maybe see you later!”
“I’ll try and make it…”
It gives you a problem.
How much food do you buy? What type of alcohol?
I’d suggest they’re all staying at home.
You have same problem when someone emails you saying:
“I’ll try and have that to you by the end of the week”.
It’s so vague that you’re unable to plan.
So even if it does come in on Friday, you’re only going to be able to deal with it the next week.
It would be so much better if that person committed to have it to you by the following Monday instead.
You can now plan that it.
It boosts your productivity rather than having you wait around.
So what should you do?
Give certainty.
And when you’re unable to commit to an outcome, commit to the process.
“I’m waiting on more information before I get back to you. I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon with an update”.
Use words of commitment to describe your values:
“I’m totally committed”
“Absolutely determined”
“I firmly believe”
We call this the Language of Leadership.
True leaders will make commitments and stick to them.
Where they are pressed on an opinion, they’ll offer it confidently.
And in doing so, they build trust, instil confidence and increase the productivity of those around them.
Andrew McFarlan is the Managing Director of Pink Elephant Communications.
You can view his profile here.
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22nd November 2018 Featured in: Blog, Communication skills training blogs, Presentation skills training blogs, Public speaking training blogs By: Pink Elephant
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