I’ve had the pleasure of running negotiation skills courses in Glasgow for several years.
But the ones I’ve experienced in the last few months have been notably different.
Why?
Because we’ve teamed up with former hostage negotiator Colin Harper to add some spice.
Here’s everything I’ve learned, and what you will too if you come on a negotiation skills course in Glasgow, or elsewhere in the UK.
I always assumed this was to make you feel like you already owe them something (and therefore making you more likely to buy).
Or simply to keep you around for a while (they always seem to be piping hot, right?)
The real reason, I’m told, is to judge your willingness to say yes.
If you say yes to a coffee, what else will you say yes to?
The leather pack? The newest model? Going significantly over your budget?
Naturally, once you know this is a trick, you’d be more inclined to say no.
However, that’s far from the right answer either.
As we’ll see in the blog, it’s important to build rapport and be clear on the common objectives both sides in the negotiation have.
I always relax, for example, when someone visits the office and says yes to a tea or a coffee.
It gives us a mutual interest, so we can both relax.
Just be aware of what you’re saying yes to during a negotiation, and why.
(And perhaps bring your own coffee next time, and one for the salesman.)
And by the way, you know five things about me.
We call these our five ‘core concerns’.
Five ways, in which we can all be motivated and influenced depending on the situation.
They are:
Think about it. How often have you felt:
Back to our hostage negotiator, Colin.
When he’s talking Mr. Bad Guy about releasing a hostage in a building surrounded by police, that person can feel trapped.
So simply by asking what they’d like for dinner, and whether they’d like it delivered through the front or the back door, they’re offered autonomy.
A sense of control, without having to give up anything of substance.
So put yourself in the shoes of the other side.
What’s concerning them, and how can you use that to influence the situation?
This one required a real mindset change for me.
On many occasions, our job at Pink Elephant is to help others create logical arguments to persuade.
Pensions changes for the long-term health of the business.
A new cycling initiative to help the environment and get people active.
But often that makes assumptions, and it’s based on our customers knowing their audience inside out.
So what happens when you’re unsure of the other side’s logic or situation?
We typically do the same – we make assumptions, lean on our biases, as shortcuts.
A better way is simply to listen actively.
And that means more than nodding along and saying yes every once in a while.
It means:
This will help demonstrate you’re really listening, a far better way to build a relationship.
And of course, in the meantime, gathering together all of the audience’s motivations and interests.
That’ll help you find creative solutions to the problem you’re both looking to fix.
We misunderstand rapport.
It’s seen as meaningless niceties that we mention before stating our position.
Rapport should instead be understood as harmony and accord.
That means having a shared agenda.
So before you even get to what you believe the negotiation is about, ask the other side:
“My understanding of our call today is that we wish to agree the quality of the materials, the quantity, the cost and payment terms.
“Is that your understanding?”
If yes, you have a shared agenda.
If you hit a rough patch over cost, you can move onto quality and come back to cost later.
Or you’ll gain insight to another area that’s important to the other side: a timeframe for delivery.
Rapport allows you to move between items of importance and always leave the negotiation feeling like both sides have won.
Colin talks at length about the Ladder of Influence.
It’s a technique used by the FBI to understand where they are in the negotiation.
The key is to take your time and move up the rungs.
The key stages are:
A lot of people go straight to trading.
But if you’ve done the first parts right, it’s far more likely that the conversation will be easier when you get there.
Just remember that where there are ladders, there are snakes.
One wrong word or phrase can send you back down to the bottom.
And at that point, it could be negotiation and relationship over.
So back to our Golden Rules.
The combination of the techniques above, along with positive, simple, committed language give you the best chance of success.
So come along to one of our courses and you’ll see for yourself.
And we promise: when we offer a coffee at Pink Elephant, it’s simply to put you at ease.
Andrew McFarlan is Managing Director of Pink Elephant Communications.
Read more about him here.
Negotiation skills Glasgow blog written by Andrew McFarlan.
Negotiation skills Glasgow blog edited by Colin Stone.
Photos in Negotiation skills Glasgow blog by Pink Elephant.
5th April 2023 Featured in: Blog, Negotiation skills training blogs By: Pink Elephant
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